Where Do We Go From Here?
by ghrocks07
Summary: Sam/Andy fic. Takes place after "Honor Roll" and focuses on the tension between Sam and Andy.  Will they be able to forgive and forget?  Or will the unspoken truth consume them...
1. Chapter 1

_Okay you guys, I apologize for not updating "Regret" in a week or so. I intended for the last chapter I wrote to BE the last and final chapter, but forgot to mark it as complete, and you guys want another, so I will. I'm just facing severe writers' block when it comes to that story, but I promise it will be updated soon._

_In other news, this story takes place after "Honor Roll" and focuses on the tension between Sam and Andy. This chapter is almost like a bit of a preface, leading into the actual story, so, as always, please read and review._

**_..._**

It was difficult. More so than either of them ever could've anticipated, simple as that. Trying to go back, to be friends, partners… disregarding whatever happened that night. They hadn't put a label on it yet. It was so hard, and now they were beginning to realize that.

…

Sam was struggling with his emotions, deciding how to conduct himself. He was angry and hurt, but he didn't want to show it. He thought playing it off as nothing would make the whole thing fade away for a little bit. That backfired.

…

Andy was confused and insecure. She had to choose between Luke and Sam. From a broader outlook, the choice was obvious. But, from her perspective, and her history, it wasn't that easy. She stayed with Luke because he was the _safe_ choice. In a textbook world, he was the right choice. But her life is **anything** but textbook, and she knows that as well as anybody. She just refuses to admit it.

Being with Sam had made her feel something she'd never felt before. A burning, heated passion… an indescribable longing for him; he consumed her in his essence and she loved every second of it. No matter how much time permitted, Luke could never make Andy feel the way Sam had in less than five minutes.

…

The feeling was mutual. Sam couldn't understand how easily she'd gotten under his skin. But he didn't mind it, because he didn't want to get her out. As long as she was under his skin, she'd always be in his life. Removing her, figuratively, would mean that he'd forgotten about her and the way she made him feel, and the thought of that was gut-wrenching. He'd never want to forget her, as long as he lived, and truth be told, he never could.

…

So now, here they were. Trying to make things work, pretending to forget that night ever happened, and go back to "normal."

...

What was normal for them? When you think about it, the relationship they had was never normal. There was always a spark, a hidden flame between them, but now that it's been revealed, they can't pretend that they don't feel it any longer.

Therefore, they feel so much towards one another, that both of them are too afraid to give in, because they know damn well that they mean so much more to each other than just another girlfriend or boyfriend, and if it didn't work out, it would crush each of them individually.

…

Andy didn't give in to her emotions because she was scared. She knew that Sam meant more to her than he should, and the concept that she loved him, meant that he could easily break her heart, and she couldn't handle that.

…

Sam is damaged, broken. Past relationships failed, undercover ops blown, what was he doing? He didn't have a family to go home to at night. In fact, the only thing that actually mattered to him right now in life was Andy McNally. And she's dating this egotistical, callous, work-a-holic detective. The thought of them together made him sick to his stomach.

…

But, what could he do? What could she say? _It was what it was. _

And as much as Sam and Andy kept repeating those few words, trying to convince themselves of it, they would never just be able to dismiss it at that. He knew it. She knew it.

So now, the journey begins. Regardless if it's just as friends, acquaintances, or solely as partners… it's going to be one hell of a ride.


	2. Chapter 2

_It was the first day they'd been back on assignment together. To them, it seemed like the awkward, uncomfortable tension could be sensed from miles away._

…

**Now, they stood face to face, Sam gripping Andy's forearms, holding her tightly, staring into her eyes. She was staring back, and Sam had a revelation.**

"**I can't do this any longer, Andy. I can't. If worse comes to worst, and a spot in Guns and Gangs doesn't open up, I'll transfer out of Fifteen, that's my only other option."**

…

The events that led up to it started with the transportation of a prisoner. Things went awry during the process and he escaped custody. Sam and Andy split up in an effort to locate him faster. The prisoner was hidden in the direction that Andy was approaching, not being able to run again without alerting her, so he waited to attack and give him more time to escape.

She walked carefully, the leaves not helping to conceal her location, gun drawn, and alert. Not that her awareness mattered, though, because within seconds he grabbed her from behind. A struggle took place, followed by a gunshot which rang throughout the acres of forest surrounding them.

…

Sam's heart stopped, his direction shifted, and he sprinted as fast as he could towards Andy after updating dispatch. He couldn't control himself now, he was completely bent out of shape over Andy's safety, and this interfered with his police work. He didn't take the necessary precautions on his way because all he cared about was her. He disregarded his safety completely. When he finally saw her, the prisoner was on top of her, one hand over her mouth, the other around her neck. Sam could barely contain himself. He holstered his gun and attacked the prisoner, wrestling him to the ground a few feet away from Andy. Sam beat him repeatedly and the pushed his forearm firmly against his neck, applying a tremendous amount of pressure. Andy radioed dispatch as soon as she regained clarity and then turned to Sam. She was taken back.

"SAM! Sam, STOP!" She yelled.

He turned and looked at her, then shifted his gaze back to the man under him. He pushed his arm forcefully into the man's neck once more before releasing the pressure, turning him over, and aggressively putting on the handcuffs.

Andy just watched him, shocked.

"Are you okay?" He asked sincerely.

Andy simply nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Sam lent out his hand, and gripped hers tightly as he gently pulled her up, his other hand still grasping the prisoner's cuffs. The shot that was fired was Andy's gun during the struggle when he grabbed her from behind. No one was hit.

Sam looked at her for a few seconds before turning away and starting back towards the patrol car. She followed, hesitantly, and leaned against the patrol car, waiting for him to finish loading the prisoner in the back.

Sam stepped away and closed the back door of the squad car after securing the prisoner. He immediately turned towards Andy. She looked deep into his eyes.

"Sam…" She started.

All of a sudden she became dizzy and fell forward, but Sam caught her right away.

"Andy! Andy, wake up!" Sam held her tightly, her head resting on his chest, shaking her gently to try and wake her up. He shifted her weight backwards towards the car so that he could see her face; she was opening her eyes slightly, and blinking fiercely. Sam still held onto her. After a few seconds she came back to reality.

"Andy, listen to me, you just blanked out for a few seconds due to lack of oxygen. Can you hear me?"

She brought her arms up and gripped Sam's forearms. "I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, okay? Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, thanks."

Sam sighed and looked away for a second, biting the inside of his cheek.

"What is it?" Andy inquired.

"I can't-" He started.

**Now, they stood face to face, Sam gripping Andy's forearms, holding her tightly, staring into her eyes. She was staring back, and Sam had a revelation.**

"**I can't do this any longer, Andy. I can't. If worse comes to worst, and a spot in Guns and Gangs doesn't open up, I'll transfer out of Fifteen, that's my only other option."**

Andy's heart lurched, and her throat seemed to close up.

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, Andy, you, me… us, it can't work, not as partners, not since.." His voice trailed off.

"Sam, we can get throu-"

"No, we can't. I can't work with you in the field anymore. It's dangerous. When we go out on a call, my first priority isn't about saving the victims anymore, Andy, it's about where are you are, what you're doing, and how to keep you safe. The only thing I think about is you. And today… When I saw that guy on top of you-" He stopped himself. "I just, I can't deal with it. If anything happened to you on my watch, I don't think I could take it, okay?"

Andy just stood there and stared at him in disbelief, her eyes welling up with tears.

"Sam. I can't agree to that. You can't leave me. I need you, here, with me. You're the best training officer at Fifteen, and I don't want to lose you."

"You don't get it, Andy! This- _Us_- It's too personal. I can't do my job right with you around." He paused. "And that's all it will ever be, too, huh? That's all I'll ever be to you- a great training officer, nothing more."

Andy swallowed. "Sam..."

"No, it's okay, I get it. Luke's the perfect guy-"

"Sam, shut up! That's not true; none of what you've just accused me of thinking is true. And _you're _the one who doesn't get it."

"Then explain it to me, Andy, please. 'Cause I'd really like to know." His lips tightened.

Lights and sirens were approaching from down the road. Back-up had arrived.

"C'mon, Andy, give me a reason to stay, give me a reason why I shouldn't transfer. Just one reason."

She knew, in her mind, exactly what to say, but wasn't able to bring herself to confess it.

A long pause followed. She opened her lips as if she were going to start, but then exhaled heavily.

Sam's jaw clenched and he looked away, shaking his head in frustration and disappointment.

"I'll talk to Best tonight." He started, and then took one last glance at her. Her head was bowed down, a single tear running down her cheek. Sam turned towards the paramedics that were approaching and motioned that Andy needed to be looked at. She and he were still holding onto each other. Sam gently released his grip and pulled away. "Goodbye Andy." 


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay… So looking back, I realize that this story is so unrealistic in many ways, and that they haven't been through enough together for him to leave yet… but, what's done is done, **it was what it was…** :D_

_Hopefully you like this chapter, please read and review!_

…

Sam was back at the station, sitting in the locker room, thinking. He knew that everything he told Andy was true, and he knew he couldn't work with her in a professional capacity any longer, yet now he really had to make his decision.

_Was this the right choice? _

_If I do leave, I might never see her again…_

Several minutes passed and Sam still struggled. His locker was open, and he just stared blankly into it. At that moment, all of his thoughts were interrupted. Someone slowly entered the locker room.

…

Andy refused to go to the hospital, and went back to the station as quickly as possible. She needed to talk to Sam. She knew he'd most likely be alone somewhere, thinking, and that knowledge brought her here.

…

"Hey," she started weakly, sitting next to him on the bench.

"Hi." He responded, his voice low and soft.

"I've been thinking, and I've made up my mind…"

Sam's head was still bowed slightly, his eyes burning a hole in the floor. He didn't look up at her, he just waited for her continue.

"You didn't deserve what I did to you that night Sam. It's just, I- I was just distraught, confused, and I needed to feel something, anything... I don't know how to expl-"

"Andy. I know the feeling; you don't have to explain it to me. I've been through it. But, what bothers me is that you came to me_, me_ out everyone you could've gone to. Even instead of Luke. Why?"

"Because," she sighed, "You've always been there for me, no matter the circumstances, and Luke, Luke's a great guy… But it always seems like his work-"

"Is the most important thing… Yeah, I get that. But, obviously you aren't happy, I hear it in your voice when you talk about him… and therefore I don't know why you stay with him, Andy, I just don't."

Andy bit her lip and rubbed her hands together. She thought about telling Sam everything, even her and Luke's break-up, just letting him in, dropping her guard…

The thought of this terrified her, and I guess he sensed it.

Sam looked up at her now. "Andy, I know you're guarded, and you do have a hard time trusting people, and I understand that- I do… But there comes a time when you're going to have to realize that not everyone is going to hurt you, not everyone is going to abandon you." He stopped and watched her carefully... "I'd never leave you."

At this, Andy broke. "Don't lie to me Sam! Honestly, I can't take it! You want to know why I don't trust people? Huh?" Tears streamed down her face. "Because of situations EXACTLY like these!" She got up now and stepped away a few feet, angry. "You just told me you'd never leave me, and yet you're sitting here, about to pack up your things TO LEAVE the Fifteen, I mean, God, the entire division! I'd never see you again, but maybe that's what you'd want, huh? C'mon Sam! Answer me now!"

Sam stood up and began walking towards her. She kept backing away, shaking her head, tears soaking her cheeks, before she hit the wall. She bowed her head now, and placed her hands on her knees.

Sam walked up and gently grabbed her arms above her elbows, and pulled her up to his level. She didn't fight it now, she was too weak. Once she was upright, he placed one of his hands on her shoulder blade and another behind her head, and pulled her tightly into his chest. She clasped her hands around his waist, and sobbed continuously into him.

"Andy, I'm not going to leave you. Sure, I said it, but I could never do it. I tried, when I came in here, but do you see any of my stuff packed? I couldn't bring myself to do it, the thought of not seeing you, I mean, I'd rather keep seeing you with Callaghan before that, and you know that's saying a lot."

She unwillingly let out a small laugh before continuing to cry.

"Shh, hey, don't cry, okay? I'm here, Andy. I'm here."

…

"Luke broke up with me." She said, without warning.

Sam was taken back, and was stumbling over a response for the next few seconds.

"I- I'm sorry." He said as he gently rubbed his hand over her back. "Look, come here, Andy, let's sit, okay?"

He carefully led her back onto the bench, and she sat down next to him, her arms still around his waist, her head still resting on his chest.

A few minutes of silence followed.

"Sam?" Andy let out quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Where do we go from here?"

…

That was a good question. Sam didn't really know how to answer it, but he knew that he wasn't leaving the Fifteen anytime soon, he'd learn to deal with his emotions when they worked together, and whether it was as friends, partners, or something more, he'd always be there for Andy.

…

"**Everything happens for a reason. Every action has a reaction. Always remember that what's meant to be will always find a way to come about." –Unknown Author**

...

_Okay, so, to be honest, I hated the way this last chapter came out, but oh well. Please let me know what **you guys **__think, like it, hate it? Constructive criticism is always welcome. _


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